Cooperative Divorce – How it Works

Divorce Consultation

Have you both acknowledged that you are going to get a divorce, but don’t know what to do next?  Do you have a sense that there’s a way to separate without heading to court?  In fact, there are several options that don’t require you to engage in the win/lose model of litigation.  As a Divorce Consultant, I will help you develop an understanding of the different models available. We’ll discuss what’s important to you during this transition and help you find a divorce option that best suits your needs.

Collaborative Divorce

The choices you make now will impact your post-divorce family’s future for many years to come. Facing this challenge with integrity helps you move into the next phase of your life with a sense of pride. In this empowering model of divorce, both parents work together to make important decisions about custody and co-parenting as well as how to  separate financially. Collaborative Divorce allows you to step away from the adversarial win/lose model of the courts and focus on what you both agree is best for your family. In the Collaborative Divorce model, you and your ex-spouse will have guidance from a team of experts, including your own lawyer and divorce coach, as well as a neutral financial advisor and a child specialist. Your team of professionals is there to help you create a parenting plan that reflects the specific needs of your children. As your Collaborative Divorce coach, my role is to help you:

  • Understand the process
  • Examine the feelings and thoughts that may make it difficult for you to engage in the process
  • Participate in the discussion of next steps
  • Attend to the important decisions facing you

Dealing ahead of time with both the emotional and logistical demands of your divorce allows you to attend the decision-making conversations when you are feeling most effective.

“Collaborative Divorce – A Safe Place” is a twenty minute film following the true life story of one couple as they proceed through their own Collaborative divorce.

Private Mediation (non-recommending)

The effects of divorce on children have been well documented. But did you know there’s a way to significantly improve their passage through this difficult transition?  In fact, research shows that the biggest indicator of children’s resilience is the absence of conflict between divorcing parents. When parties go through the adversarial process, there is a higher likelihood of appearing before a judge. As a private mediator, I will guide you to a peaceful resolution of your differences, while helping you manage your negative feelings. During our sessions, you and your ex-spouse will solidify your co-parenting relationship and create your Parenting Plan, a blueprint of your children’s care and custody.  I’ll help you create this important document by helping you think through your various options while you take into account your children’s developmental needs. Even though you come to sit in my office, I believe that your children are the ultimate client.  There is a 4×6 frame in my office that will house a picture of your children so they are present throughout the planning we will be doing together.

Integrative Mediation

Divorce is an emotional event with legal and financial consequences.  In addition to dealing with the powerful feelings that accompany divorce, you’ll need to make a series of financial and technical decisions. As an experienced team mediator, I work together with an attorney to ensure your decisions are made with both the emotional and legal implications in mind. During a Integrative Mediation, the attorney and I will work together to help you understand the overlapping issues involved in making custody and financial arrangements. As your mental health mediator, I’ll discuss the impact your decisions have on your child(ren) before it is incorporated into the Parenting Plan documents. Together we will have a comprehensive focus on your post-divorce family’s well being.